Is There a “Proverbs 31” Passage for Men?

We have all read through Proverbs 31. Prov 31:11-31 is known as “the virtuous woman” passage. Parents use it as a “guideline” for character qualities to cultivate within their daughters. Young Women use this passage as guidelines for character qualities to grow within their own lives. Young men use this passage as a guideline for qualities for which to look for in a wife.

But with so much emphasis on Proverbs 31, is there a companion passage for men? a passage that parents can go to and look for a list of qualities to cultivate within their sons? or where we men can look to find a list of qualities to grow in? or a passage for a young lady to see what qualities she should look for in a husband?

The answer to that question is an emphatic YES! in fact, there are two such passages which complement each other as it relates to character development in men.

The two passages of which I am speaking are 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9. 1Tim 3:1-2a says: “It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer, then must be...” “Wait a minute!” you might say…”I thought you said a passage about character in men! this passage is talking about qualifications for Pastors!

You are right! While these two passages are listing the qualifications that MUST BE present within the life of a Pastor, these are also qualities that ALL of us as men should be cultivating within our lives. There are 25 individual character qualities listed in this passage, not to mention the ones that overlap! WOW! that’s a lot! the passages are as follows (with the qualities numbered):

1 Timothy 3:1-7 It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer, then, must be (1)above reproach, the (2) husband of one wife, (3)temperate, (4)prudent, (5)respectable, (6)hospitable, (7)able to teach, (8)not addicted to wine or (9)pugnacious, but (10)gentle, (11)peaceable, (12)free from the love of money. He must be one who (13)manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?, and (14)not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a (15)good

reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. “

Titus 1:5-9 For this reason I left you in Crete, that you would set in order what remains and appoint elders in every city as I directed you, namely, if any man is (1)above reproach, (2)the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of (16)dissipation or (17)rebellion. For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, (18)not self-willed, (19)not quick-tempered, not (8)addicted to wine, (9)not pugnacious, (12)not fond of sordid gain, but (6)hospitable, (20)loving what is good, (21)sensible, (22)just, (23)devout, (24)self-controlled, (25)holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict

1. Above Reproach

2. Husband of one wife (a one woman man)

3. Temperate

4. Prudent

5. Respectable

6. Hospitable

7. Able to teach

8. Not addicted to wine

9. Not Pugnacious (Belligerent, combative, quarrelsome)

10. Gentle

11. Peaceable

12. Free from the love of money

13. Manages his own household well

14. Not a new convert

15. Good reputation with those from outside the church

16. Not accused of dissipation

17. Not accused of rebellion

18. Not Self-willed (arrogant)

19. Not Quick Tempered

20. Loving that which is good

21. Sensible

22. Just

23. Devout

24. Self Controlled

25. Holding fast to the faithful Word

Wow! that’s a very tall order for we men to live up to! In fact, it is impossible! the ONLY way that we are able to become a Tim3Titus1 man is by the Holy Spirit at work in us. we Must yield to His control in order to be able to become men like the ones described here.

You may ask: “what about the single man? how can he be the “husband of one wife” if he is not even married? or how can he “rule his family well” if he does not yet have a family of his own?” The answer is simple. Is he a one woman man? is he taking a different girl out on dates every other week, or playing the field? or is he looking for a committed relationship with the potential of leading to marriage? He may not have a family now, but how well is he doing in the areas of leadership he has now?

Remember, These qualities are not going to be perfectly present in every young man, but they should be there in “seed form”. We as men need to be striving for maturity in these areas, asking God to help us daily in our own journeys of sanctification and maturity.

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